Socialization Help People with Dementia

People with dementia often have trouble in social settings.  The noise and activity of others is distracting and can even be scary.  Even those with early stage dementia are starting to notice they can't as easily follow conversations when more than one person is involved,  It can be confusing or stressful to know your role in a social setting.  As a result many people with dementia and their caregivers end up isolating themselves, going to less and less social settings.  Isolation can lead to depression and less physical activity.

Social interaction is one way to keep the brain active and may even help prevent the progress of dementia.  So how do we find social settings for people with dementia?  It's best to look for groups especially designed for people with dementia.  For example, Rhodes Respite care in Anderson (http://www.fpcandersonsc.com/serving/rhodes-respite-care-2/) provides socialization especially for those in early or middle stage dementia.  Participants enjoy attending the group where they make crafts, enjoy music, and get to know staff and other participants like themselves.  The Alzheimer's support group in Seneca offers a socialization group during it's meetings for people with early stage dementia.  Participants enjoy music, activities with pleasant aromas, board games such as Qwirkle and Rummykub, and interaction with college students and other participants.  The group avoids expectations or competitiveness so that participants feel welcome and comfortable no matter their mood or abilities on a particular day.  Trained college students from Clemson University provide one-on-one interaction to make participation active and enjoyable.  If you would like to join one of the groups led by Clemson students contact Dr. Cheryl Dye at tcheryl@clemson.edu for a list of current offerings.  The next sessions are Feb. 20 and April 17 at 11:30 am at Oconee Memorial Hospital.

Look for social activities where the expectations for your loved one and for you the caregiver are low.  But be sure to pick activities that you both would enjoy.  Consider a walk in the park where you observe children or families, attending a local church service, visiting a small store with few customers, going to a local walking trail on a sunny day, or playing a board game with one or two non-competitive accepting people.  Use your loved one's former interests as a guide.  If they always enjoyed playing cards look for simple card games.  If they enjoyed working out, find a place where you can use simple exercise equipment.  As you are interacting with others provide your companionship and support for your care receiver in case they feel confused or afraid.  Be accepting of their moods and interactions and offer praise during and after the outing, even if everything wasn't perfect.

Going to a social activity can take a lot of preparation and energy.  So be sure to plan some quite time or a nap afterwards.  Remember to praise your loved one for going and for being with you.

Note: See the previous post for another opportunity for socialization.

Dementia Dialogues

Do you work with or take care of someone with dementia?  One of the most effective ways to treat the care receiver is to provide help, education, and support for the caregiver.  Come to this free course...

Dementia Dialogues

Thursdays, February 12 - March 12, 2015

1:00 pm - 2:30 pm

at St Mark's United Methodist Church

616 Quincy Rd., Seneca

Dementia Dialogues is a 5 part learning experience designed to educate individuals who care for persons who exhibit signs and symptoms associated with Alzheimer's Disease or related dementias. Each session is approximately one and one half hours in length. This program is offered at no cost to participants through the Arnold School of Public Health at the University of South Carolina and the South Carolina Department of Health and Human Services.

Below is a list of what we cover in each of the five sessions:


1. The Basic Facts, and introduction to dementia


2. Keeping the Dialogue Going: Talking to people with dementia


3. Environment and safety issues, eating, bathing


4. Challenging Behaviors: wandering, incontinence, sundowning


5. More Challenging Behaviors: repetitive behaviors, yelling, agitation, rummaging, etc.

The class is free. Registration, although not required, is recommended. Email name and phone number to elehmacher@gmail.com.

Participants can attend only one (or a few) of the sessions. Previous sessions are not a prerequisite. Caregivers who need care for a person with dementia may call the Alzheimer's Association to request a free caregiver at: 800-272-3900. (Please call at least 2 weeks in advance.)



During class, another group will be offered for care recipients offering activities for people with early or mid-stage dementia led by Dr. Cheryl Dye and Clemson University students. Board games, drawing, and music will be used to stimulate brain function and improve mood. Room for 10 participants is available. Email tcheryl@clemson.edu to reserve a spot in the care recipient group.

Not So Happy Holidays

 When many people are enjoying celebrations with friends and family, people who lost a loved one recently may be dreading facing holiday traditions, family gatherings, music, and memories.  Sadness, loneliness, anger, preoccupation, envy, and yearning don’t seem to fit the holiday mood and can crop up at a moment’s notice.  What can you do to make survive this "happy" season?

     First, consider what’s most important this holiday.  Is it being with family, taking time off, creating a beautiful home, celebrating spiritual beliefs, exchanging gifts, being a peacemaker, or helping others?  Let your top values help you choose which traditions to celebrate this year.  A recent loss gives you permission to make changes in holiday traditions.  Rabbi Dr. Earl Grollman, certified Death educator and counselor, offers the following suggestions of for new traditions after a loss:  ceremoniously place an ornament/decoration that recognizes the loved one’s favorite hobby/interest, ask the youngest family member sit in the loved one’s seat at the holiday dinner, have family members stuff her stocking with written memories of her throughout the season (later read when all are together), share memories of him around a the holiday meal, play her favorite song, look through past photo albums, encourage family to "give him" a donation to his favorite charity, or serve one of her favorite foods for the meal (even if it’s jelly beans or bratwurst). Although one can’t predict how one will react emotionally during the holidays, having a plan and a new tradition can help reduce worry and even create excitement about something new. Just before holiday events, think ahead so there’s a place you can retreat to for privacy and a designated person (ask them ahead of time) to step into your role in case you need some time alone.  For help, call in “anything I can do” favors.  Your friends will welcome a chance to help you decorate, cook, write cards, visit, or shop.   Pay extra attention to self-care:  accept your feelings and let them out, get enough sleep, eat healthy, drink sensibly, and exercise (aerobic exercise improves mood).  Finally, consider doing something for someone else.  Research shows that we often feel better when we help others.

      What if you’re helping someone grieving? Instead of saying “let me know if I can help,”  offer specific help. Consider inviting them to your home for a holiday dinner or offering to help decorate or address cards.  Suggest a visit and ask specifically about how they are doing after their loved one’s death this season.  Be sure to use their loved one’s name (too often after death we stop using the name and this becomes almost a second loss for the griever).  Then be a listener.  Don’t offer advice, instead say things like “that makes sense” or “that must be hard.” Be flexible allowing your friend to decline offers now, but remember to check in later.

     Sadness and tears may be part of this holiday, but happy memories can be as well.  Focus on what is best for you and your loved ones, be spontaneous and flexible, and allow the feelings to flow whatever they may be.  Need extra help with your grief?  Consider joining a grief support group.  Groups are offered throughout the year at GHS Hospice of the Foothills (390 Keowee School Road, Seneca).  Call 864-882-8940 for more information. Or Google a support group on line.  For example, if you lost a child check out Compassionate Friends where others write about how they handle the holidays. If your grief seems to complicate all aspects of you life even months or years later, talk about it and consider making an appointment with a counselor.  

New Alzheimer's Support Group

By the year 2050, two-thirds of people over age 85 will have Alzheimer’s or related dementia.  Currently, more than 5 million people* in the US are living with Alzheimer’s disease. Someone in the US develops Alzheimer’s approximately every 67 seconds.* Alzheimer’s disease leads to memory loss as well as changes in thinking and behavior.  Research suggest that teaching caregivers more about their role helps both the caregiver and the person with dementia to live healthier happier lives.

In honor of Alzheimer’s and Caregivers awareness month this November, a new support group for caregivers of people with dementia will start Nov. 21 at 11:30am.  Caregivers will meet monthly to learn new skills, focus on self-care, and share coping techniques with each other.  Speakers with expertise in dementia care will come to the monthly meetings to share tips.  In November we’ll learn about non-medicine ways to prevent and treat dementia.  On December 17 Kathy Birkett, a local dietitian with specialty in senior care, will talk to us about how diet can help.   Participants are encouraged to bring a brown bag lunch and drink along to the group each month.

On November 21 at 11:30 (during the Alz. support group) Clemson University students, under the direction of Dr. Cheryl Dye, will provide activities for people with early or mid-stage dementia.  Board games, drawing, and music will be used to stimulate brain function and improve mood.  Room for 10 participants is available.  Email  tcheryl@clemson.edu to reserve a spot in the care recipient group.

Both groups will meet in neighboring conference rooms at GHS Oconee Memorial Hospital.  Participants for both groups should park in the front parking lot and enter together through the tower front door where people at the information desk can direct participants to the 2nd floor conference rooms.  No pre-registration required for the Alzheimer’s support group.  For questions about this new group please contact Eunice Lehmacher, LISW-CP at 864-643-8449 or elehmacher@gmail.com.  Eunice is a local counselor and geriatric care manager in Seneca and a certified dementia specialist.  Dr. Cheryl Dye is a professor in the Department of Public Health Sciences at Clemson University and the Director of the Institute for Engaged Aging.

For information on other Alzheimer’s support groups in the area contact the leader listed below:  In Seneca:  2nd Monday of each month 7pm, Jane Thomas (864-882-1202)

Clemson: 1st Wednesday of each month 2pm, Gail Marion (864-356-1174)

Easley: 1st Thursday of each month 7pm, Jim Vaughn (864-414-2378).

For more information on Alzheimer’s and for support call  the Alzheimer’s Association at 1-800-272-3900 or see www.alz.org.

Participants in an Alzheimer’s support group who would like to have a caregiver stay with their loved one when they attend the support group can call 800-272-3900 at least two weeks in advance to arrange for an free in-home caregiver for their loved one with dementia.

*data from Alz.org

Medications Seniors should Avoid

The American Geriatrics Society has a list of medications not recommended for senior citizens.  To see the list of medication seniors should avoid check out their website here.

What causes people to be healthier?

Dr. Kelly Turner, author of Radical Remission, discovered that cancer patients who experienced radical remission of cancer had the following factors in common:
1.  Radically changing your diet
2. Taking control of your health
3.  Following your intuition
4.  Using herbs and supplements (under doctor's supervision)
5. Increasing positive emotions
6. Embracing social support
7. Deepening your spiritual connection
8. Having strong reasons for living
Dr. Kelly interviewed numerous cancer survivors and identified more than 75 factors that they used as part of their healing journey.  The eight above were listed by nearly all survivors, making them the most significant.  (See her book for more information on each factor and her research.)

Whether or not you have cancer, the above factors may be a good way for you to be healthier and happier.  Consider writing a list of them and hanging it somewhere you'll see it often (your computer's desktop or screen saver, the bathroom mirror, over the kitchen sink).  Then start to notice which areas you need most to work on.  And begin to make changes.

For example, #6.  In a world increasing dominated by the media, social networking, and technology, some people feel isolated.  Family support and friends from younger years often live many miles away. We need to generate our own base of support locally and find ways to reconnect with those who live further away.  Finding friends who will support you includes being able to share with people who are safe your struggles, hopes, dreams, problems, and fears.  Choose people who won't judge you or solve your problems, but will rather listen to you and support your choices.  And be a support system for them as well.  Before tragedy strikes you or your family, accept support of friends, be willing to be vulnerable (with safe people), and provide support to those in your community.  In so doing you create for yourself a healthier community.

Why Did it Happen?

It is normal when something bad happens to wonder why it happened.  And why it happened to you in particular.  It can be good to analyze the whys.  Sometimes through, understanding the whys we come to a greater acceptance of the situation and are able to move on.

But...

and this is a big BUT...

...sometimes there isn't a single why that we can find.  Or sometimes even if we understand the why, it doesn't lead to any relief in the feelings (hopelessness, grief, sadness, pain, depression,...).

Most of us believe that if we could just understand what is happening and why, then make changes based on the understand, everything will be better.  But that's just not always true.  For example, when an accident that hurts or kills someone we love, no amount of understanding/thinking/reconsidering of the event will change that we feel sad (and angry, in pain...).  It's normal to go through lots of what-ifs and if-onlys (and it's not wrong to do so), but that process of thinking doesn't make us feel better.  When we feel pain and sadness there's a drive to find anything that will make us feel less in pain or sad.*  Thinking comes easier than feeling at times like this, and we can sometimes go into over-thinking or ruminating on the same what-ifs and if-onlys incessantly. When ruminating has taken over from thinking, we need to release the need to have logical explanations and move into acceptance of the loss and pain.

"But HOW" you say....

Yes, easier said than done.

It is a daily practice of accepting the now.  Accepting does not mean that you are glad this thing happened. Certainly not thinking that you (or anyone) would have chosen this painful now.  But accepting it as here now:  "I am in pain.  I am sad.  I can't make it go away, no matter how much thinking I do...."  Just noticing, "I'm trying to find an explanation again to make me feel better, but I still feel sad (angry, hurt...)."  Paddle past the pain and hurt onto calmer waters of accepting the feeling.  Perhaps you wouldn't have chosen to be in this boat.  But since you're in it, float, ride, perhaps paddle and move forward.

Try this exercise on releasing thoughts several times each week when ruminating or over-thinking has taken over.  And be accepting of yourself as you try it.  It takes practice to release obsessive thoughts, so the first time you try it, it will only work part of the time.

Take a deep breath and notice the motion of the breath.  Take 5 more deep breaths.
Notice a feeling you find unpleasant.
Notice what body sensations the feeling is causing (tension, hot, restless, lethargic, headache...).
Notice the thought that go with the feeling.
As much as possible observe the thoughts instead of thinking them.
Now accept the feeling.  Say to yourself, it makes sense I am _________.
Allow the feeling to express itself.
Say:  I'm in pain.  I can tolerate this.  I don't like it, but it won't kill me.
Continue to accept.
Take several more deep breaths.
On the breath out breathe out pain, tension, and ruminating thoughts.
On the breath in bring in healing, wholeness, acceptance, and (perhaps) peace.
Breathe.
Then notice if you feel any different.  Accept the change (or lack of change.)


*Sometimes we go to substances (like alcohol) or other addictions (like computer games) as a way to avoid the pain.