Be Calm

CALM

Collect the good

Accept everything

Live fully

Meet your own needs

Collect the good:  When we’re stressed we tend to think about all the bad or hard things that have happened.  Today, instead collect the good that happens.  Be grateful that you have access to indoor plumbing, that there’s some food in your house, that the sun shows through the clouds, that someone smiled, or that your bed feels good.  And make gratitude a habit daily, perhaps remembering to say five things you’re thankful for before getting out of bed, naming what you’re thankful for before or meal or the end of your day, or starting a gratitude list.

Accept everything:  Part of our stress is related to resisting things that happened that we didn’t want to happen.  Although it’s ok to be angered by or dislike how things turned out, fighting against what has already happened (that you can no longer change) only increases your stress.  So accept what happened yesterday, last year, etc.  Accepting does not mean that you approve or like what happened.  Instead you are letting go of the resistance or willfulness that causes tension and stress as you think about the past.  Letting go of the things you can’t change can help you to enjoy life and have hope for your future.

Live Fully:  Take time each day to let go of worries about the future and enjoy what is happening in the present.  For example, observe your breath; run and only feel the sensations; loose yourself in some music; or see and enjoy a beautiful sunset or flower.  Let yourself get lost in what your are doing or feeling and what is around you.   There’s enough trouble in the moment without adding the trouble of past (and future) days or years.  Although you won’t always be able to let go of the past and future, spend some (lots of?) time every day enjoying the now.  If you’re truly living fully, you’ll notice that you loose track of time in these moments and experience joy in simple things.  In sports fully participating is called being “in the zone.” 

Meet your own needs:  Some stress comes from focusing so much on others needs that we neglect our own needs.  People experiencing stress sometimes even forget to eat, sleep, or do things for fun.  No one else but you knows what you need.  So start by taking three deep breaths and naming what you feel and need right now.  Rate your fatigue, hunger, tension, etc. Then choose a time today to take care of one of these needs.  Taking care of yourself is not selfish.  Instead taking care of your needs frees you up to care for others.