What is FEAR?

What is F E A R to you?

False Evidence Appearing Real
Failure Expected And Received
Forget (or F...) Everything And Run
Frantic Efforts to Appear Recovered (Real)
Feeling Everything's Really Awful
Few Arrive Ever Rejoicing
False Expectations (Egos, Evidence, Emotions, Experiences..) Appearing Real
Feelings Every Alcoholic Rejects
Forever Escaping And Retreating
Fools Every Alcoholic Repeatedly
Forgetting Everything About Reality
Future Events Already Ruined
Forgetting Everything's All Right
Forgetting Everything About Reality

Notice that many of these acronyms have a focus on the future.  We are thinking about the future and we become afraid.  

Try choosing to be in the present instead.  Notice I said choose.  Fear will arise.  It's unclear if we have the power to stop fear from coming into our bodies and awareness.  It's pretty clear that when fear has arrived it will affect our physical bodies, our experience of the present, and our hopes, feelings, and awareness.  Fear changes us.  So when it arrives.... notice it... and...

CHOOSE to BE in the PRESENT....

Breathe...now...this one moment...notice what fear does to your heart rate, breathing, temperature, thoughts, feelings, hopes, awareness....

Now choose to be present....instead of thinking the thoughts that fear brings on...just be... breathe...notice...be aware....

Take this moment to notice something in the present and fully experience it.  Perhaps use beginner's mind to notice some object near you.  Afterwards, notice how your fear and your awareness has changed.

There's enough energy right now to handle the present, not all that might come in the future (and has happened in the past).  So CHOOSE to stay in the present....

Breathe....

Chronic Pain Relief

Although you might not think so at first, pain is a helpful trait of your body.  It lets you know that something is wrong and needs to be changed.   If you touch a hot stove, it's the pain that makes you move your hand.  Pain is the main reason people visit their doctor, since it is often the first sign of many diseases.  Because of pain many people have found out what disease processes were happening in their bodies and got needed treatment.

But let's face it, we don't like pain.  We especially don't like pain that stays around. Chronic pain is sometimes lasts weeks, months, or years.  It is not uncommon for people to continue to suffer from pain even after having a medical treatment for the problem.  For example, most people know at least one person who had back surgery but still suffers from chronic back pain.  Chronic pain is the reason Americans are buying more pain killers than ever before.  46% of Americans say they suffered from pain in the last 2 weeks.  20% of Americans say physical pain disrupts their sleep one or more nights a week.

All pain and illness is probably a result of both physical and mental causes.  Physical causes for pain are numerous and include physical illnesses, inflammation, tissue damage, medication side effects, and chemical changes in the body.  Mental causes for pain can include worry, stress, fear, and faulty belief systems.

Pain cannot be avoided.  Unfortunately all of us will experience pain in life at some point.  But suffering, which is pain minus the acceptance of the pain, can be avoided.   To avoid suffering one must learn to accept pain or learn to resist pain less.  We can know we are suffering if we are grimacing, teeth grinding, having self-punitive thoughts, seeking to avoid thinking about pain, wishing constantly for relief (e.g. attachment to finding a cure), or feel depressed, angry, or afraid of our chronic pain.  Everyone suffers when they experience pain.  Suffering leads to tight muscles, and perhaps a fight/flight/freeze stress reaction.  This stress reaction changes the way our bodies work and may even increase the pain.

So what's the solution?  First of all go see a doctor and get medical help.  If the only medical solution you've found after trying several treatments is pain medication, and you would prefer not to take so many pills, consider steps you can take yourself.  Learn to accept the pain (not the suffering).  Radically accept the pain.  Allow yourself to experience the pain as it is in this present moment.  Instead of letting the pain be a distraction from your work or relationships, give the pain a few moments of undivided attention every day.  Accept the pain of the moment and let go of the pain from the past and potential pain in the future.  For just a moment, allow yourself to experience the pain without thinking about a potential cure or wishing for a solution.  Don't think punishing thoughts about why you are having pain, simply experience it or describe it to yourself.  Notice ways your thoughts are making the pain worse (do you catastrophize, worry so much you get tense in your shoulders and neck or get a headache?).  Just accept the thoughts you have without judging them.  Then go back to observing the pain:  the sensations, the throbbing, the minute by minute changes in the intensity and location of the pain.  Watch.  Observe.  Allow.  Accept....

Although this mindfulness exercise won't take away the pain, it may reduce the suffering.  And with practice you may be able to reduce the level of chronic pain and enjoy your life more.  Try googling mindfulness for pain relief and try a few meditations.  One from my website is here.  For more on this method see www.backsense.org.

Other methods you can use to reduce suffering include changes in diet, behavioral therapy, exercise, physical therapy, evaluation of sleep habits, reduction of substance use, acupuncture, energy therapy, EFT (emotional freedom technique), chiropractic care, and changes in lifestyle and habits.  When you visit your doctor, ask them to give you more than pain killers.  Ask them for what lifestyle changes you can make that would reduce the suffering and pain.  If your physician doesn't know wholisitic methods, look for other health care professionals and/or health coaches in your area that can help you.  Don't forget to ask your friends what methods they have used and which professionals have helped them.  (Note: licensed professionals for whom you have several positive references are your best source of alternative care.)

Be Calm

CALM

Collect the good

Accept everything

Live fully

Meet your own needs

Collect the good:  When we’re stressed we tend to think about all the bad or hard things that have happened.  Today, instead collect the good that happens.  Be grateful that you have access to indoor plumbing, that there’s some food in your house, that the sun shows through the clouds, that someone smiled, or that your bed feels good.  And make gratitude a habit daily, perhaps remembering to say five things you’re thankful for before getting out of bed, naming what you’re thankful for before or meal or the end of your day, or starting a gratitude list.

Accept everything:  Part of our stress is related to resisting things that happened that we didn’t want to happen.  Although it’s ok to be angered by or dislike how things turned out, fighting against what has already happened (that you can no longer change) only increases your stress.  So accept what happened yesterday, last year, etc.  Accepting does not mean that you approve or like what happened.  Instead you are letting go of the resistance or willfulness that causes tension and stress as you think about the past.  Letting go of the things you can’t change can help you to enjoy life and have hope for your future.

Live Fully:  Take time each day to let go of worries about the future and enjoy what is happening in the present.  For example, observe your breath; run and only feel the sensations; loose yourself in some music; or see and enjoy a beautiful sunset or flower.  Let yourself get lost in what your are doing or feeling and what is around you.   There’s enough trouble in the moment without adding the trouble of past (and future) days or years.  Although you won’t always be able to let go of the past and future, spend some (lots of?) time every day enjoying the now.  If you’re truly living fully, you’ll notice that you loose track of time in these moments and experience joy in simple things.  In sports fully participating is called being “in the zone.” 

Meet your own needs:  Some stress comes from focusing so much on others needs that we neglect our own needs.  People experiencing stress sometimes even forget to eat, sleep, or do things for fun.  No one else but you knows what you need.  So start by taking three deep breaths and naming what you feel and need right now.  Rate your fatigue, hunger, tension, etc. Then choose a time today to take care of one of these needs.  Taking care of yourself is not selfish.  Instead taking care of your needs frees you up to care for others.