Work the soil

"To me poor people are like bonsai trees. When you plant the best seed of the tallest tree in a flower-pot, you get a replica of the tallest tree, only inches tall. There is nothing wrong with the seed you planted, only the soil-base that is too inadequate. Poor people are bonsai people. There is nothing wrong in their seeds. Simply, society never gave them the base to grow on. All it needs to get the poor people out of poverty for us to create an enabling environment for them. Once the poor can unleash their energy and creativity, poverty will disappear very quickly."
-Muhammad Yunus

I like gardening.  And how true it is that better soil produces better plants.  I also like working the soil around people.  Sometimes they need better nutrients, but sometimes they just need the soil turned over a bit or a larger pot. 

One of the best ways to feel better yourself is to help someone else.  Research* suggests that there's a strong relationship between volunteering and health (lower motrality rates, greater functional ability, lower rates of depression in later life).  Although it is not clear from the research that it is the volunteering that reduces depression or mortality or increases functionality, experts tend to agree that helping others tends to help the helper.  For example, the helper while volunteering is spending less time focusing on their own problems since they are helping someone else with their unique (and different) problems.  In the study older persons had higher benefits from volunteering, perhaps it gives them a physical activity, a sense of purpose, and social interactions at a time when these are otherwise changing or disappearing.  (Another reason could be that they face a higher incidence of illness as they age.)  The study also suggested that spending more than 100 hours per year was more likely to lead to positive health outcomes.

So get out there an volunteer! There are many agencies that could use your help.  People who volunteer say that the work helps them more than they help those they are asked to serve.  Here's a few agencies to consider (or look up volunteering on your city or county's website):

Big Brother, Big Sister

Meals on Wheels

Free Clinics
Senior Centers
Head Start
Public Libraries

In Seneca/Clemson South Carolina, look up:

Our Daily Rest (lunch served)

Our Daily Bread (homeless shelter)

ReWiGo (repair and ramp building for the poor)

Senior Solutions (inclues Meals on Wheels)

Foothills YMCA 

Oconee Medical Center

Rosa Clark Medical Clinic and Clemson Free Clinic

Clemson Child Development Center

SMURFs

*Corperation for National and Community Service report titled The Health Benefits of Volunteering:  A Review of Recent Research, 2007.  http://www.nationalservice.gov/pdf/07_0506_hbr.pdf

Planning vs. Being

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."  Joseph Campbell

Part of what makes us move ahead and be motivated is our goals, plans, and dreams.  Plans are important, but putting too much focus into the plans can make us miss the life we have now.  We can hope one day to be healthy, or have/heal that special relationship, or.....  But look at all the beauty and pleasure we might miss if we only focus on getting there.  Even though we are sick, we can enjoy the taste of a favorite dish, the smile of our grandchild, the rainbow or sunset we happened to see.   Or more simply we can enjoy that we are breathing and our heart is beating and this very moment is alive with sensations and experiences.  If we notice them, they will bring peace and/or joy to our hearts.

So by all means plan and dream.  But in between the times when you're thinking about your plans, remember to enjoy this one moment.  You won't have a chance to experience it again.

Here's an idea to appreciate the present when you wake up in the mornings:

As you wake notice your breath and be grateful for it's rhythm and constant presence.  Notice the motion of the breath in and out.  Enjoy it.  Then notice what else is working well in your body, your heart is beating, you can see, hear, etc.  Feel the bedsheets, pillows and cool air with your hands and face.  Enjoy those sensations.  Be grateful for all the blessing of your body and your bed.  Look around your room and be grateful for all the things you have and enjoy.  Listen to the sounds you hear and be grateful for the clock, cars, neighbors, family....  Take time with each sound to really listen to it and enjoy its beauty.  Use your other senses (smell and taste) to notice your surroundings and be grateful. Do this slowly and focus on as many or as few things/people as you wish. Take time to be grateful for your body, possessions, loved ones, and the world around you one by one. Then when you're ready return your attention to your breath and feel each breath in and out.  Experience the motion, smells and sensations that breathing brings you and enjoy the moment.

Positive psychology research has leaned that gratitude is a trait of people who are more happy than average.  So as you enjoy the moments of your day, be grateful.  May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you have joy in your moments today.

Resolutions

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."  Dr. Seuss

In January we tend to make resolutions.  And it's a good habit for many because it encourages us to be healthier, happier, more motivated, more organized .... you name it.   So I encourage you to make a resolution today.  But keep in mind as you do that New Year's resolutions tend to be focused on both the past and the future.  You think about what you didn't like in the past and/or what you want in the future.  Although focus on the past and present is not harmful, it does tend to keep us from appreciating the present moment.  For example, thinking about how I want to be fitter, might cause me to not notice what's beautiful about me right now.  Or thinking about how I want to be a more loving friend (or parent or caregiver),  might lead me to repeat negative thoughts about myself that I'm actually trying to unlearn.  And if I start to feel guilty about how I didn't keep my resolution, I many create even more negative thoughts often followed by unpleasant emotions.  All this can lead us to miss out on a beautiful scene out the window, the smile of a friend, or the comfortable chair/room/house we're in (not to mention missing hitting the resolution).

So by all means make a resolution (or two?), but consider making a now-focused (or mindful) resolution this year that helps you stay focused on the present moment with awareness.  Here's a few ideas:

-See something beautiful you haven't noticed before today.

-Spend time each week (or day?) being totally present with a loved one.

-Find a new mundane task each week (month?) to start doing mindfully.

-Take time to notice the sounds, smells, sights, and textues when you eat something.

-Take six deep breaths before starting a difficult task (or getting together with a difficult person).

-Notice the sensations when eating, washing dishes, showering, walking....

-Sit still for 3 minutes when you get to (or off) work to just appreciate the now.

-Take at least 10 breaths each day mindfully.

-Stretch (or exercise) and really notice what happens when you stretch.

-Smile or laugh more and enjoy doing it.

-Smile at least part the day each day when you're at work.

-Read something just for pleasure each week (day?) and enjoy the time as you're reading.

-Start list of things you're grateful for and add to it each day (week?).

-Be grateful when doing chores (e.g. thankful for the garbage collectors who will take away this trash or for the plumbing that works).

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
― Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Music

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” 
― Victor Hugo

Music is one of the few things we do that involves the whole brain.  Every culture uses music, and you don't need to understand their language to appreciate their music.  Music has been shown to have psysiological benefits.  Studies have shown that music can lower your blood pressure, reduce the sensation and distress of chronic and post-operative pain, reduce the frequency, intensity, and duration of migraines, and improve the post-operative recovery of strokes.

Of course, we don't all agree on what music is soothing or healing.  What is soothing to me might be annoying to you.  Be almost everyone could name a song (or type of music) that they find soothing.  So today, find some time to listen to music that is healing for you.  And if you are feeling stressed or in pain, take 5 minutes to listen to your favorite song.  This is a treatment that is free and most people enjoy "taking."  All that is needed is willingness to use your time to help yourself (spending time on what is important instead of what is urgent).  If you don't have a way to play the music from a speaker, play it for yourself in your head.

Loss

“You never know what you have till you've lost it.” 
― Alyson Noel, Evermore

Loss is an inevitable part of live.  So is the attachment to people and things.  We must all learn to accept change and loss.  But it is not easy.  Feelings of sadness, denial, anger, fear, and confusion are common when you have lost someone or something that was precious to you.  It's important to accept and experience these feelings rather than pushing them away.  Some quiet time after a loss becomes more important.  You can take the time to feel and to grieve.

Try the three minute breathing space.  For about three minutes (and no, don't time yourself) take some deep breaths.  Try to clear your mind from thoughts of what has happened or what you must do next.  Just be......, feel....., breathe....  When thoughts come, acknowledge them, let them go, return your attention to your breath.   Just be.... for about three minutes.   Then .... name the feeling your are experiencing right now.  Whether you like them or not, just name them.  And try to accept the feelings as part of your life in this moment.  

Describing what sensations feelings cause in your body can help you to accept them.  Does the feeling make your breathing change, change your heart rate, make you warmer/colder, tenser, heavier/lighter, tired/more energetic, etc.  For example, many people notice when they are sad their breathing slows, they feel tired or weak, and their heart rate slows.  Others notice they feel colder.  Your experiences may be different.  Just describe the sensations you feel.

Through acceptance of feelings we can become more accepting of change.....and thereby more accepting of loss.  Because.....

“eventually, everything goes away.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

It's not unusual to be afraid of loss and therefore, to become afraid of attachment.  However, a life without people we love and things that we enjoy might not be very joyful or fulfilling.  So continue to love.  And continue to be aware of change.  And learn to accept your feelings more and more each day.

“It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”
― John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

Love the Questions

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. " 
Rainer Maria Rilke


Learning to love questions instead of just seeking contantly for answers is something we can all grow at.  One way to learn to live with the questions is to pick a question that is currently troubling you or one that has no clear answer.  Then find some time and space to sit quietly.  Begin by focusing on your breath.  After a few calming breaths begin to say the same question to yourself with each breath in.  With each breath out simply wait.  Do this at least 10 times, if not many more.  On the breath out do not expect an "answer" to the question (although some people do find an answer here), rather wait.....for prehaps a physical response (tension?), awareness, feeling, or calmness about the question.  Be open and curious to see what happens.  Wait....wait.

Ok, now I know you are about to go on and click on another post or website.  Stop for just 3 mintues and try this.  See if it might not help you to live the question now.  It may help you some distant day to live along into the answer.

Silence

Sound imposes a narrative on you...and it’s always someone else’s narrative...The pursuit of silence, likewise, is dissimilar from most other pursuits in that it generally begins with a surrender of the chase, the abandonment of efforts to impose our will and vision on the world. Not only is it about standing still; with rare exceptions, the pursuit of silence seems initially to involve a step backward from the tussle of life… [I]t’s as though, as a culture, we’ve learned to ‘mind the gaps’ so well that they’ve all but disappeared. We live in an age of incessancy, under the banner of the already heard and forgotten. - George Prochnik (from In Pursuit of Silence)

I encourage you to take a few moments of silence today.  As much as possible turn off the sounds (like the TV) around you.  For sounds you can't control, just notice and accept them.  Sit (or lie down).  Just notice your breath, yourself, and the world around you.  Perhaps you have only one minute to do this today.  Perhaps you have 20 minutes.  No matter how much time you have, be in the moment for that time.  If thoughts about the past or the future distract you, acknowledge them and let them go.  If you become critical of yourself (like ....  why am I so distracted?) or others (like.... why can't he be quiet for 5 minutes), notice these judgements as well and them let them go.  Pursue simply silence and peace....surrender the chase...step back from the tussle..breathe....  now .... enjoy life....