"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we must walk again and again. To make a deep mental path we must think again and again the kind of thought we want to dominate our lives." D. Thoreau
When you catch yourself saying "I'm not good enough" or "I never do anything right" and any other destructive thought, take note of this unhelpful path in your mind. Don't be judgmental about this thought, just notice the thoughts that don't help.* And then start walking down the path you want to make instead. Tell yourself "I'm doing the best I can" or "I've handled problems before and I can do it again." Repeat phrases that you want to hear over and over again. Maybe you even want to write a card to remind yourself of these positive thoughts or put a reminder on your phone or computer to read the thoughts to yourself. Negative thoughts may have become a habit, but you can make positive thoughts become a stronger habit (or path). If you work on this every day, within one month you could notice the more positive path becoming a habit (or at least being "louder" than the unhelpful thoughts). Below are some suggested coping thoughts. Choose and adapt the ones you like best. Better still, write your own.
Today is a new day and I can live it fully.
I can be anxious and still deal with ________.
This isn't an emergency. It's ok to think slowly about what I need to do.
This isn't the worst thing that could happen.
There is no need to push myself. I can take as small a step forward as I choose.
I can figure out what I need right now.
I have the time to spend on taking care of myself. I'm important.
I don't need these thoughts. I can choose different ways of thinking.
I've survived this before and I'll survive this time too.
I can take all the time I need to relax and let go.
I deserve to feel ok (or ______) right now.
I'll just let my body react to this. I know it will pass.
Don't worry. Be happy.
I'm special. I'm loved.
Fighting and resisting isn't going to help. So I'll just let it pass.
This moment is special and I'm going to enjoy the present now.
I'm doing my best and I'm taking care of myself.
*Unhelpful thoughts were often "intalled" in our brains in childhood and come without us wishing for them. By resisting them or scolding yourself for them, you may not help yourself. But by simply noticing and accepting them as something our mind does, you can move past them to more helpful thoughts.
Today is a new day and I can live it fully.I can be anxious and still deal with ________.
This isn't an emergency. It's ok to think slowly about what I need to do.
This isn't the worst thing that could happen.
There is no need to push myself. I can take as small a step forward as I choose.
I can figure out what I need right now.
I have the time to spend on taking care of myself. I'm important.
I don't need these thoughts. I can choose different ways of thinking.
I've survived this before and I'll survive this time too.
I can take all the time I need to relax and let go.
I deserve to feel ok (or ______) right now.
I'll just let my body react to this. I know it will pass.
Don't worry. Be happy.
I'm special. I'm loved.
Fighting and resisting isn't going to help. So I'll just let it pass.
This moment is special and I'm going to enjoy the present now.
I'm doing my best and I'm taking care of myself.
*Unhelpful thoughts were often "intalled" in our brains in childhood and come without us wishing for them. By resisting them or scolding yourself for them, you may not help yourself. But by simply noticing and accepting them as something our mind does, you can move past them to more helpful thoughts.
