What causes people to be healthier?

Dr. Kelly Turner, author of Radical Remission, discovered that cancer patients who experienced radical remission of cancer had the following factors in common:
1.  Radically changing your diet
2. Taking control of your health
3.  Following your intuition
4.  Using herbs and supplements (under doctor's supervision)
5. Increasing positive emotions
6. Embracing social support
7. Deepening your spiritual connection
8. Having strong reasons for living
Dr. Kelly interviewed numerous cancer survivors and identified more than 75 factors that they used as part of their healing journey.  The eight above were listed by nearly all survivors, making them the most significant.  (See her book for more information on each factor and her research.)

Whether or not you have cancer, the above factors may be a good way for you to be healthier and happier.  Consider writing a list of them and hanging it somewhere you'll see it often (your computer's desktop or screen saver, the bathroom mirror, over the kitchen sink).  Then start to notice which areas you need most to work on.  And begin to make changes.

For example, #6.  In a world increasing dominated by the media, social networking, and technology, some people feel isolated.  Family support and friends from younger years often live many miles away. We need to generate our own base of support locally and find ways to reconnect with those who live further away.  Finding friends who will support you includes being able to share with people who are safe your struggles, hopes, dreams, problems, and fears.  Choose people who won't judge you or solve your problems, but will rather listen to you and support your choices.  And be a support system for them as well.  Before tragedy strikes you or your family, accept support of friends, be willing to be vulnerable (with safe people), and provide support to those in your community.  In so doing you create for yourself a healthier community.

Be the Change

Marketers suggest that we can buy a certain item can make us happy.  When you go to a doctor you can get a pill to help you solve almost any problem.  Insurances promises to make you secure.  Advisers promise if you use their services you will become rich, healthy, ...  But unfortunately many problems continue even after buying the item, seeing the doctor, or taking the medication.  Although it's true insurance, pills, people and things can help us, often it takes an investment of our own time and effort into a problem before it gets better.

"Be the change you want to see in the world" Gandhi said.  Instead of hoping for others to solve our problems (or the world's problems) we need to learn to see how we can make a difference for ourselves (and others) now.  So next time you have a problem that you thinking shopping, medicine, government, or some expert can fix, consider first what you can do to be the change you want.

Most of us would benefit from getting more exercise.  It would help us pay attention, have more energy, be less depressed, decrease the likelihood of getting dementia and heart disease, and if we walked in our own neighborhood we might improve our relationships with neighbors or make new friends.  Almost everyone I work with knows that exercise would help them, but few people are willing to make the changes necessary to make exercise a regular part of their lives.  Why?  The answer is different for everyone but inertia, or the tendency to stay where we are, is often a large part of the reason.

Most of us could eat better.  If we ate less that was bad for us (sugar, fatty foods, alcohol, etc.) and more that was good for us (fresh fruits and veggies, homemade items, etc.) our hearts, minds, and bodies would be healthier, have more energy, and if we cooked with friends or family it might even improve our relationships.  If we started growing some of our own food, we have the chance to exercise while we're eating better.  Again, most people know that they need to improve their diet, but they resist the messages their body is sending regarding foods.

Eating right and exercising take more time than just taking a pill.  Many skills or techniques like meditation for example take an investment of time and effort on our part before we can reap the benefits.  The benefits often outweigh the effort, but you only notice the benefit after many hours of practice.

“Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.”  R. W. Emerson

Quick fixes are attractive because they are so simple.  But the key to our health and well being lies in our own hands.  We need to decide what is needed to be healthier and happier.  So long as we assume someone else (be that a doctor or family member) holds the key to solving a problem we are facing, we can't really make changes.  So accept what your are, define what you need to change, and then start the hard working of being the change you want to see in your world.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl R. Rogers

Cures for Depression

Depression affects approximately one in 10 Americans (Centers for Disease control), although it affects everyone at different levels.  Depression is costly and debilitating for many, a passing nuisance for others, or a recurring down experience.  No matter how it affects you, you have probably looked for an antidote or "cure" for depression.

Medication is one of the most common treatments for depression, and is pretty easy often only requiring taking one or two bills per day.  Talk to your doctor about which medication is best for you.  Remember you may need to try several before you find the one that works best for your body.  If medication is not working for you or not providing enough relief, remember it's only one antidote.  Try some of these depression killers:

Counseling:  Talking out what's hurting can help you develop new ways of thinking and new ways of coping.  Many people find after effective counseling they can decrease or end their use of medications.

Exercise:  Instead of (or in addition to) taking medications, take your body's medication for depression.  The way to activate your body's chemicals is aerobic exercise.  I recommend 30-90 minutes aerobic exercise 5 days a week.  You're looking for exercise that makes your heart rate go up.  For example, swimming, jazzercise, aerobics classes, walking fast, running, playing soccer, etc.  Find something you enjoy doing and consider varying the activity from day to day.   Strength training is also beneficial.  Although you won't see an immediate benefit in the first week of exercise, over time you'll find adding the body's chemicals will counter depression (and has no side effects, except perhaps weight loss).

Sunlight:  If you lived in Alaska or Norway, you'd notice how many people get depressed in winter when full sunlight is available less than 4 hours a day.  If you're feeling down go outside on sunny days.  If you add a walk or a visit with a neighbor, you're doing two depression busters at once!  If you tend to get depressed in the winter, notice how sunset gets later each day after Dec. 21.   Consider getting a "sun" lamp for in your home.

Diet:  Eat some depression busters.  Foods that nutritionists suggest may counter depression include  cashews, brazil nuts, whole grain oats, brown rice, cabbage, raw cocoa, foods with Omega-3 fatty acids (like salmon and tuna), brewers's yeasts, hot peppers, and other whole grains like quinoa, kamut and spelt.  Talk to a health coach or nutritionist for advise specific to your body and/or medical conditions.  Or do a web search on foods that have helped others.  Don't forget to avoid foods that can lead to depression like foods high in sugar or fat, excessive coffee or alcohol.

Letter to your Future Self

When you feel good and strong consider writing a letter to yourself that you will read at times you feel vulnerable.  Give yourself advise on how to cope and get better from your strong self to your vulnerable self.  You know best what it feels like to be depressed, anxious, or discouraged.  Here’s some things to include in your letter:

•  Validation or acceptance of your vulnerable self’s feelings.
• What things the strong-you does that make you feel better (exercise, positive thoughts, healthy diet, mindfulness, supportive friends…).
• What helped you leave behind depression or anxiety in the past.
• Affirmations that you need when feeling weak (others care, every day is a new day, you’ve done this before, it will pass, I love you,…).

·      Advise on what to NOT do as you know from experience (drink, isolate, overeat, negative self-talk).

·      Your personal resources and strengths (intelligence, empathy, energy, caring…).

·      Be supportive, compassionate, caring, encouraging, and understanding of your vulnerable self.

·      Say something hopeful (but believable, remember in dark times no one believes euphemisms)

Helpful thoughts?

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.  To make a deep physical path, we must  walk again and again.  To make a deep mental path we must think again and again the kind of thought we want to dominate our lives."  D. Thoreau

When you catch yourself saying "I'm not good enough" or "I never do anything right" and any other destructive thought, take note of this unhelpful path in your mind.  Don't be judgmental about this thought, just notice the thoughts that don't help.*  And then start walking down the path you want to make instead.  Tell yourself "I'm doing the best I can" or "I've handled problems before and I can do it again."  Repeat phrases that you want to hear over and over again.  Maybe you even want to write a card to remind yourself of these positive thoughts or put a reminder on your phone or computer to read the thoughts to yourself.  Negative thoughts may have become a habit, but you can make positive thoughts become a stronger habit (or path).  If you work on this every day, within one month you could notice the more positive path becoming a habit (or at least being "louder" than the unhelpful thoughts).  Below are some suggested coping thoughts.  Choose and adapt the ones you like best.  Better still, write your own.

Today is a new day and I can live it fully.
I can be anxious and still deal with ________.
This isn't an emergency.  It's ok to think slowly about what I need to do.
This isn't the worst thing that could happen.
There is no need to push myself.  I can take as small a step forward as I choose.
I can figure out what I need right now.
I have the time to spend on taking care of myself.  I'm important.
I don't need these thoughts.  I can choose different ways of thinking.
I've survived this before and I'll survive this time too.
I can take all the time I need to relax and let go.
I deserve to feel ok (or ______) right now.
I'll just let my body react to this.  I know it will pass.
Don't worry.  Be happy.
I'm special.  I'm loved.
Fighting and resisting isn't going to help.  So I'll just let it pass.
This moment is special and I'm going to enjoy the present now.
I'm doing my best and I'm taking care of myself.


*Unhelpful thoughts were often "intalled" in our brains in childhood and come without us wishing for them.  By resisting them or scolding yourself for them, you may not help yourself.  But by simply noticing and accepting them as something our mind does, you can move past them to more helpful thoughts.

The Aging of America

In 2056, for the first time in US history, the population of people older than 65 will outnumber younger people according to the US Census bureau.  The Census bureau also tells us that baby boomers are living longer than their parents did even though they tend to be less healthy than their parents were at the same age.  Advances in medicine and medical technology are allowing people to live longer, even if they have poor health habits.

What changes will need to happen as a higher percentage of our population is older?  Time will tell.  But mostly likely we'll need to rely on each other more.  Our health care system will need to focus more on staying fit and healthy and less on curing illnesses.  And each of us will need to care for older neighbors, family members, and friends.  Probably a higher percentage of the population will be employed in the elder care and health care fields.  And we may all work well past the age of 60.

As changes come to our society each of us needs to make sure we are ready for the future.  Staying physically, socially, and mentally active will help each of us as our bodies grow older.  No matter what your age now, consider ways that you can become more engaged in your community, keep your body fit, and use your brain more.  Consider adding the following habits to your life:

*At least once a week call or visit a friend.
*Exercise daily, sometimes aerobic, sometimes stretching.  If you don't have time for a whole work-out, add a longer walk to the car when you park at the office or store or take the steps instead of the elevator.
*Look for ways to learn daily.  Make a list of things you want to learn on your computer or in your journal.  Check this list at least once a year to notice what you've learned and pat yourself on the back for keeping an active brain.
*Learn habits that help you relax and feel good.  Include leisure in your weekly and daily routine.
*Consider your next doctor visit as a time to learn about yourself and your health.  After your check-up resolve to try new ideas that you learned from the doctor or nurse to improve your health.  Enlist a friend to encourage you to keep your goal by telling her/him of your new resolution.
*Notice (but don't condemn yourself for) your bad health habits and make small changes to be more healthy.  For example, if you put three spoons of sugar in your tea, try to cut back to 2 spoons over the course of one week.  If you walk one mile slowly, pick up the pace once a week or add a bit of length.  Small changes makes big differences over time.
*Learn about organizations that help others and consider volunteering.
*Talk with your family members and friends about how you want to be cared for when your are older.  Get your will ready and prepare ideas for your family to commemorate your death once you have pass on.

We'll all need to work together as our society ages.  Please add your comments on how we can all prepare in the comments below.

Fulfillment

"People take different roads seeking happiness and fulfillment.  Just because they are not on your road does not mean they are lost."  Dalai Lama

Most of us want to be happy and fulfilled.  We also wish that our loved ones, friends,  and colleagues were happy and fulfilled.   It's important to keep in mind that what makes us happy doesn't necessarily make others happy or fulfilled.  So, it's not our job to tell others how to find happiness.  Sometimes when we do, it causes stress for us and for them.  We are not responsible when others don't feel fulfilled. Although we can take care of them, we can't make anyone else happy.   Letting go of the belief that we can make others happy doesn't mean that we don't care about them.  We are just recognizing everyone's uniqueness, independence, and personal ability to affect their own happiness.  We're recognizing that we can't change others, only ourselves.

Try this exercise (called compassion meditation) to focus on your happiness and to offer love to those you care for:

Sit quietly and comfortably and take a couple deep breaths.  Focus on the present moment and let go of any distractions.  Repeat these words to yourself:  May I be happy.  May I be peaceful.  May I be safe.  May I be loved.  Continue breathing and saying these phrases several times.

Then think of someone you love (perhaps someone you don't believe is feeling happy or fulfilled).  As you think of them, say these words:  May you be happy.  May you be peaceful.  May you be safe.  May you be loved.  Say these words several times as you think of them.  If you like, you can switch to another person and say the words as you think about them.  Feel free to change the wording to be more appropriate to each friend.

Finally, say the phrases again about yourself:  May I be safe.  May I be happy.  May I be peaceful.  May I be loved.

Go out and enjoy your day.  You are loved.

Imprefection

"There's a crack in everything.  That's how the light gets in."  Leonard Cohen.

Culture tends to tell us to get better, to reach higher...and to ignore or hide our faults.  I'm all for reaching higher.  But sometimes the way to get there is through our faults, failure, quirks, or "cracks."  When we are pretending we have it all together, we're expending energy that might be better spent learning from our faults.  When we're hiding our faults or "cracks" we're not reaching for where we want to go.

The next time you get anxious, worried, or feel guilty, try something new.  Think to yourself, this is a chance for me to learn and grow.  What can this feeling teach me about myself and the world?  Guilt can help us get ready to apologize for something we said without thinking.  Facing our anxiety, a little bit at a time, can help us to do things we've always wanted to do.  For example, going to a new group, even though meeting new people make us anxious, can allow us to learn new skills or make new friends.  Dr. Marsha Linehan (pyscholgist and author) ties this acceptance or welcoming of unpleasant emotions to "opposite action" as a way to get over problems we face*.   The idea is to identify the action that an emotion wants us to do and then do the opposite.  For example, depressed feelings tend to make us want to withdraw and/or isolate.  The opposite action would be to exercise or engage.  So using opposite action to decrease depression means engaging or going out when you feel like staying in.  Try using opposite action to grow yourself as follows:

-If you feel depressed and want to stay in bed all day, instead go out for a walk.
-If you feel sad, watch a funny movie.
-If you're attracted to something you would rather avoid, walk away from it.
-If you feel frightened of something you want to learn to do/use, watch others doing it.

The basic idea is to let our "cracks" teach us.  Be open to letting your feelings, no matter how uncomfortable, teach us.

*One clarification, it is also important to allow ourselves to experience our unpleasant emotions.  Opposite action is for times when we've decided we spent too much time depressed or sad or angry.  But before trying opposite action (to get rid of the feelings) it's important to first experience the feeling fully and accept it.

Work the soil

"To me poor people are like bonsai trees. When you plant the best seed of the tallest tree in a flower-pot, you get a replica of the tallest tree, only inches tall. There is nothing wrong with the seed you planted, only the soil-base that is too inadequate. Poor people are bonsai people. There is nothing wrong in their seeds. Simply, society never gave them the base to grow on. All it needs to get the poor people out of poverty for us to create an enabling environment for them. Once the poor can unleash their energy and creativity, poverty will disappear very quickly."
-Muhammad Yunus

I like gardening.  And how true it is that better soil produces better plants.  I also like working the soil around people.  Sometimes they need better nutrients, but sometimes they just need the soil turned over a bit or a larger pot. 

One of the best ways to feel better yourself is to help someone else.  Research* suggests that there's a strong relationship between volunteering and health (lower motrality rates, greater functional ability, lower rates of depression in later life).  Although it is not clear from the research that it is the volunteering that reduces depression or mortality or increases functionality, experts tend to agree that helping others tends to help the helper.  For example, the helper while volunteering is spending less time focusing on their own problems since they are helping someone else with their unique (and different) problems.  In the study older persons had higher benefits from volunteering, perhaps it gives them a physical activity, a sense of purpose, and social interactions at a time when these are otherwise changing or disappearing.  (Another reason could be that they face a higher incidence of illness as they age.)  The study also suggested that spending more than 100 hours per year was more likely to lead to positive health outcomes.

So get out there an volunteer! There are many agencies that could use your help.  People who volunteer say that the work helps them more than they help those they are asked to serve.  Here's a few agencies to consider (or look up volunteering on your city or county's website):

Big Brother, Big Sister

Meals on Wheels

Free Clinics
Senior Centers
Head Start
Public Libraries

In Seneca/Clemson South Carolina, look up:

Our Daily Rest (lunch served)

Our Daily Bread (homeless shelter)

ReWiGo (repair and ramp building for the poor)

Senior Solutions (inclues Meals on Wheels)

Foothills YMCA 

Oconee Medical Center

Rosa Clark Medical Clinic and Clemson Free Clinic

Clemson Child Development Center

SMURFs

*Corperation for National and Community Service report titled The Health Benefits of Volunteering:  A Review of Recent Research, 2007.  http://www.nationalservice.gov/pdf/07_0506_hbr.pdf

Resolutions

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."  Dr. Seuss

In January we tend to make resolutions.  And it's a good habit for many because it encourages us to be healthier, happier, more motivated, more organized .... you name it.   So I encourage you to make a resolution today.  But keep in mind as you do that New Year's resolutions tend to be focused on both the past and the future.  You think about what you didn't like in the past and/or what you want in the future.  Although focus on the past and present is not harmful, it does tend to keep us from appreciating the present moment.  For example, thinking about how I want to be fitter, might cause me to not notice what's beautiful about me right now.  Or thinking about how I want to be a more loving friend (or parent or caregiver),  might lead me to repeat negative thoughts about myself that I'm actually trying to unlearn.  And if I start to feel guilty about how I didn't keep my resolution, I many create even more negative thoughts often followed by unpleasant emotions.  All this can lead us to miss out on a beautiful scene out the window, the smile of a friend, or the comfortable chair/room/house we're in (not to mention missing hitting the resolution).

So by all means make a resolution (or two?), but consider making a now-focused (or mindful) resolution this year that helps you stay focused on the present moment with awareness.  Here's a few ideas:

-See something beautiful you haven't noticed before today.

-Spend time each week (or day?) being totally present with a loved one.

-Find a new mundane task each week (month?) to start doing mindfully.

-Take time to notice the sounds, smells, sights, and textues when you eat something.

-Take six deep breaths before starting a difficult task (or getting together with a difficult person).

-Notice the sensations when eating, washing dishes, showering, walking....

-Sit still for 3 minutes when you get to (or off) work to just appreciate the now.

-Take at least 10 breaths each day mindfully.

-Stretch (or exercise) and really notice what happens when you stretch.

-Smile or laugh more and enjoy doing it.

-Smile at least part the day each day when you're at work.

-Read something just for pleasure each week (day?) and enjoy the time as you're reading.

-Start list of things you're grateful for and add to it each day (week?).

-Be grateful when doing chores (e.g. thankful for the garbage collectors who will take away this trash or for the plumbing that works).

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
― Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi