Music

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” 
― Victor Hugo

Music is one of the few things we do that involves the whole brain.  Every culture uses music, and you don't need to understand their language to appreciate their music.  Music has been shown to have psysiological benefits.  Studies have shown that music can lower your blood pressure, reduce the sensation and distress of chronic and post-operative pain, reduce the frequency, intensity, and duration of migraines, and improve the post-operative recovery of strokes.

Of course, we don't all agree on what music is soothing or healing.  What is soothing to me might be annoying to you.  Be almost everyone could name a song (or type of music) that they find soothing.  So today, find some time to listen to music that is healing for you.  And if you are feeling stressed or in pain, take 5 minutes to listen to your favorite song.  This is a treatment that is free and most people enjoy "taking."  All that is needed is willingness to use your time to help yourself (spending time on what is important instead of what is urgent).  If you don't have a way to play the music from a speaker, play it for yourself in your head.

Loss

“You never know what you have till you've lost it.” 
― Alyson Noel, Evermore

Loss is an inevitable part of live.  So is the attachment to people and things.  We must all learn to accept change and loss.  But it is not easy.  Feelings of sadness, denial, anger, fear, and confusion are common when you have lost someone or something that was precious to you.  It's important to accept and experience these feelings rather than pushing them away.  Some quiet time after a loss becomes more important.  You can take the time to feel and to grieve.

Try the three minute breathing space.  For about three minutes (and no, don't time yourself) take some deep breaths.  Try to clear your mind from thoughts of what has happened or what you must do next.  Just be......, feel....., breathe....  When thoughts come, acknowledge them, let them go, return your attention to your breath.   Just be.... for about three minutes.   Then .... name the feeling your are experiencing right now.  Whether you like them or not, just name them.  And try to accept the feelings as part of your life in this moment.  

Describing what sensations feelings cause in your body can help you to accept them.  Does the feeling make your breathing change, change your heart rate, make you warmer/colder, tenser, heavier/lighter, tired/more energetic, etc.  For example, many people notice when they are sad their breathing slows, they feel tired or weak, and their heart rate slows.  Others notice they feel colder.  Your experiences may be different.  Just describe the sensations you feel.

Through acceptance of feelings we can become more accepting of change.....and thereby more accepting of loss.  Because.....

“eventually, everything goes away.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

It's not unusual to be afraid of loss and therefore, to become afraid of attachment.  However, a life without people we love and things that we enjoy might not be very joyful or fulfilling.  So continue to love.  And continue to be aware of change.  And learn to accept your feelings more and more each day.

“It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”
― John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

Love the Questions

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. " 
Rainer Maria Rilke


Learning to love questions instead of just seeking contantly for answers is something we can all grow at.  One way to learn to live with the questions is to pick a question that is currently troubling you or one that has no clear answer.  Then find some time and space to sit quietly.  Begin by focusing on your breath.  After a few calming breaths begin to say the same question to yourself with each breath in.  With each breath out simply wait.  Do this at least 10 times, if not many more.  On the breath out do not expect an "answer" to the question (although some people do find an answer here), rather wait.....for prehaps a physical response (tension?), awareness, feeling, or calmness about the question.  Be open and curious to see what happens.  Wait....wait.

Ok, now I know you are about to go on and click on another post or website.  Stop for just 3 mintues and try this.  See if it might not help you to live the question now.  It may help you some distant day to live along into the answer.

Silence

Sound imposes a narrative on you...and it’s always someone else’s narrative...The pursuit of silence, likewise, is dissimilar from most other pursuits in that it generally begins with a surrender of the chase, the abandonment of efforts to impose our will and vision on the world. Not only is it about standing still; with rare exceptions, the pursuit of silence seems initially to involve a step backward from the tussle of life… [I]t’s as though, as a culture, we’ve learned to ‘mind the gaps’ so well that they’ve all but disappeared. We live in an age of incessancy, under the banner of the already heard and forgotten. - George Prochnik (from In Pursuit of Silence)

I encourage you to take a few moments of silence today.  As much as possible turn off the sounds (like the TV) around you.  For sounds you can't control, just notice and accept them.  Sit (or lie down).  Just notice your breath, yourself, and the world around you.  Perhaps you have only one minute to do this today.  Perhaps you have 20 minutes.  No matter how much time you have, be in the moment for that time.  If thoughts about the past or the future distract you, acknowledge them and let them go.  If you become critical of yourself (like ....  why am I so distracted?) or others (like.... why can't he be quiet for 5 minutes), notice these judgements as well and them let them go.  Pursue simply silence and peace....surrender the chase...step back from the tussle..breathe....  now .... enjoy life....