CALM
Collect the good
Accept everything
Live fully
Meet your own
needs
Collect the good: When we’re stressed we tend to think
about all the bad or hard things that have happened. Today, instead collect the good that happens. Be grateful that you have access to
indoor plumbing, that there’s some food in your house, that the sun shows
through the clouds, that someone smiled, or that your bed feels good. And make gratitude a habit daily,
perhaps remembering to say five things you’re thankful for before getting out
of bed, naming what you’re thankful for before or meal or the end of your day,
or starting a gratitude list.
Accept everything: Part of our stress is related to
resisting things that happened that we didn’t want to happen. Although it’s ok to be angered by or
dislike how things turned out, fighting against what has already happened (that
you can no longer change) only increases your stress. So accept what happened yesterday, last year, etc. Accepting does not mean that you
approve or like what happened. Instead
you are letting go of the resistance or willfulness that causes tension and
stress as you think about the past.
Letting go of the things you can’t change can help you to enjoy life and
have hope for your future.
Live Fully: Take time each day to let go of worries
about the future and enjoy what is happening in the present. For example, observe your breath; run
and only feel the sensations; loose yourself in some music; or see and enjoy a
beautiful sunset or flower. Let
yourself get lost in what your are doing or feeling and what is around
you. There’s enough trouble
in the moment without adding the trouble of past (and future) days or years. Although you won’t always be able to
let go of the past and future, spend some (lots of?) time every day enjoying
the now. If you’re truly living
fully, you’ll notice that you loose track of time in these moments and
experience joy in simple things.
In sports fully participating is called being “in the zone.”
Meet your own needs: Some stress comes from focusing so much
on others needs that we neglect our own needs. People experiencing stress sometimes even forget to eat,
sleep, or do things for fun. No
one else but you knows what you need.
So start by taking three deep breaths and naming what you feel and need
right now. Rate your fatigue,
hunger, tension, etc. Then choose a time today to take care of one of these
needs. Taking care of yourself is
not selfish. Instead taking care
of your needs frees you up to care for others.
