Socialization Help People with Dementia

People with dementia often have trouble in social settings.  The noise and activity of others is distracting and can even be scary.  Even those with early stage dementia are starting to notice they can't as easily follow conversations when more than one person is involved,  It can be confusing or stressful to know your role in a social setting.  As a result many people with dementia and their caregivers end up isolating themselves, going to less and less social settings.  Isolation can lead to depression and less physical activity.

Social interaction is one way to keep the brain active and may even help prevent the progress of dementia.  So how do we find social settings for people with dementia?  It's best to look for groups especially designed for people with dementia.  For example, Rhodes Respite care in Anderson (http://www.fpcandersonsc.com/serving/rhodes-respite-care-2/) provides socialization especially for those in early or middle stage dementia.  Participants enjoy attending the group where they make crafts, enjoy music, and get to know staff and other participants like themselves.  The Alzheimer's support group in Seneca offers a socialization group during it's meetings for people with early stage dementia.  Participants enjoy music, activities with pleasant aromas, board games such as Qwirkle and Rummykub, and interaction with college students and other participants.  The group avoids expectations or competitiveness so that participants feel welcome and comfortable no matter their mood or abilities on a particular day.  Trained college students from Clemson University provide one-on-one interaction to make participation active and enjoyable.  If you would like to join one of the groups led by Clemson students contact Dr. Cheryl Dye at tcheryl@clemson.edu for a list of current offerings.  The next sessions are Feb. 20 and April 17 at 11:30 am at Oconee Memorial Hospital.

Look for social activities where the expectations for your loved one and for you the caregiver are low.  But be sure to pick activities that you both would enjoy.  Consider a walk in the park where you observe children or families, attending a local church service, visiting a small store with few customers, going to a local walking trail on a sunny day, or playing a board game with one or two non-competitive accepting people.  Use your loved one's former interests as a guide.  If they always enjoyed playing cards look for simple card games.  If they enjoyed working out, find a place where you can use simple exercise equipment.  As you are interacting with others provide your companionship and support for your care receiver in case they feel confused or afraid.  Be accepting of their moods and interactions and offer praise during and after the outing, even if everything wasn't perfect.

Going to a social activity can take a lot of preparation and energy.  So be sure to plan some quite time or a nap afterwards.  Remember to praise your loved one for going and for being with you.

Note: See the previous post for another opportunity for socialization.

Dementia Dialogues

Do you work with or take care of someone with dementia?  One of the most effective ways to treat the care receiver is to provide help, education, and support for the caregiver.  Come to this free course...

Dementia Dialogues

Thursdays, February 12 - March 12, 2015

1:00 pm - 2:30 pm

at St Mark's United Methodist Church

616 Quincy Rd., Seneca

Dementia Dialogues is a 5 part learning experience designed to educate individuals who care for persons who exhibit signs and symptoms associated with Alzheimer's Disease or related dementias. Each session is approximately one and one half hours in length. This program is offered at no cost to participants through the Arnold School of Public Health at the University of South Carolina and the South Carolina Department of Health and Human Services.

Below is a list of what we cover in each of the five sessions:


1. The Basic Facts, and introduction to dementia


2. Keeping the Dialogue Going: Talking to people with dementia


3. Environment and safety issues, eating, bathing


4. Challenging Behaviors: wandering, incontinence, sundowning


5. More Challenging Behaviors: repetitive behaviors, yelling, agitation, rummaging, etc.

The class is free. Registration, although not required, is recommended. Email name and phone number to elehmacher@gmail.com.

Participants can attend only one (or a few) of the sessions. Previous sessions are not a prerequisite. Caregivers who need care for a person with dementia may call the Alzheimer's Association to request a free caregiver at: 800-272-3900. (Please call at least 2 weeks in advance.)



During class, another group will be offered for care recipients offering activities for people with early or mid-stage dementia led by Dr. Cheryl Dye and Clemson University students. Board games, drawing, and music will be used to stimulate brain function and improve mood. Room for 10 participants is available. Email tcheryl@clemson.edu to reserve a spot in the care recipient group.

New Alzheimer's Support Group

By the year 2050, two-thirds of people over age 85 will have Alzheimer’s or related dementia.  Currently, more than 5 million people* in the US are living with Alzheimer’s disease. Someone in the US develops Alzheimer’s approximately every 67 seconds.* Alzheimer’s disease leads to memory loss as well as changes in thinking and behavior.  Research suggest that teaching caregivers more about their role helps both the caregiver and the person with dementia to live healthier happier lives.

In honor of Alzheimer’s and Caregivers awareness month this November, a new support group for caregivers of people with dementia will start Nov. 21 at 11:30am.  Caregivers will meet monthly to learn new skills, focus on self-care, and share coping techniques with each other.  Speakers with expertise in dementia care will come to the monthly meetings to share tips.  In November we’ll learn about non-medicine ways to prevent and treat dementia.  On December 17 Kathy Birkett, a local dietitian with specialty in senior care, will talk to us about how diet can help.   Participants are encouraged to bring a brown bag lunch and drink along to the group each month.

On November 21 at 11:30 (during the Alz. support group) Clemson University students, under the direction of Dr. Cheryl Dye, will provide activities for people with early or mid-stage dementia.  Board games, drawing, and music will be used to stimulate brain function and improve mood.  Room for 10 participants is available.  Email  tcheryl@clemson.edu to reserve a spot in the care recipient group.

Both groups will meet in neighboring conference rooms at GHS Oconee Memorial Hospital.  Participants for both groups should park in the front parking lot and enter together through the tower front door where people at the information desk can direct participants to the 2nd floor conference rooms.  No pre-registration required for the Alzheimer’s support group.  For questions about this new group please contact Eunice Lehmacher, LISW-CP at 864-643-8449 or elehmacher@gmail.com.  Eunice is a local counselor and geriatric care manager in Seneca and a certified dementia specialist.  Dr. Cheryl Dye is a professor in the Department of Public Health Sciences at Clemson University and the Director of the Institute for Engaged Aging.

For information on other Alzheimer’s support groups in the area contact the leader listed below:  In Seneca:  2nd Monday of each month 7pm, Jane Thomas (864-882-1202)

Clemson: 1st Wednesday of each month 2pm, Gail Marion (864-356-1174)

Easley: 1st Thursday of each month 7pm, Jim Vaughn (864-414-2378).

For more information on Alzheimer’s and for support call  the Alzheimer’s Association at 1-800-272-3900 or see www.alz.org.

Participants in an Alzheimer’s support group who would like to have a caregiver stay with their loved one when they attend the support group can call 800-272-3900 at least two weeks in advance to arrange for an free in-home caregiver for their loved one with dementia.

*data from Alz.org

Medications Seniors should Avoid

The American Geriatrics Society has a list of medications not recommended for senior citizens.  To see the list of medication seniors should avoid check out their website here.

The Ten Absolutes for Caregivers

Jo Huey, a nurse, wrote these 10 absolutes for caregivers taking care of someone with dementia:

1.   Never argue, instead agree.
2.   Never reason, instead divert.
3.   Never shame, instead distract.
4.   Never lecture, instead reassure.
5.   Never “remember,” instead reminisce.
6.   Never say “I told you,” instead repeat.
7.   Never say “you can’t,” instead say “do what you can.”
8.   Never command or demand, instead ask or model.
9.    Never condescend, instead encourage or praise.
10. Never force, instead reinforce. 

Caregivers find it hard to stop using reason with their loved one, especially if the person with dementia was an engineer, lawyer, planner or was always very reasonable before dementia.  But once the disease starts, no amount of reasoning or logical discussions will convince them that their version of reality is not real.  In fact, being reasonable, a skill that works well in most other situations, can actually escalate arguements when talking to someone with dementia.  Just like we often can't reason with a toddler, we also can't reason with someone who is now losing skills they learned as a child.  (Note that we unlearn things in the same order we learned them before as a child).

Here's a place where Lily Tomlin can help us:  "Reality is the leading cause of stress of those in touch with it." 

Allow your care reciever to have their own reality.  Let them enjoy it, and don't talk them out of it.  Your job as the caregiver is to eliminate conflict and provide saftey and purpose in life when you can.  And of course, your job is to take care of yourself.  Cut down the arguements, and enjoy the moments that you are given with your loved one.

Consider posting Huey's 10 Abolutes in a place you see daily to remind you.